Update as of July 21

It has been a while since my last post.  A few things have changed.  I am now married to my best friend and love of my life John :) :)  I started online schooling to be a Pharmacy Technician.  Also my body has decided that it wants to bleed, and cause me more pain for the past 4 days.  I go to the doctor on the 24th and I hope and pray they can figure something out.  I guess I am having a period but I do not know if that is what this is.  I haven't had a period since January 2011.  So talk about a surprise that I did not want to have in the afternoon.  I once again am having horrible moods.  I know that I have to keep pushing myself to do the things I need to get done whether I have pain or not.  My pain is like it was before I had surgery.  I am so confused by this since I have no ovary on my left side and that is were a lot of the pain is.  When I say pain I mean pain, pressure, and a throbbing stabbing sensation all at the same time.  I feel like I am going into labor but I am not pregnant, trust me I am not!! 

Everyday my body feels different.  Good moods, bad moods, no pain, terrible pain, headaches, no headaches, urine incontinence, no urine incontinence, the list goes on and on.  Everyday something is happening whether it's good or bad, but my joint pain stays the same.  I regret having the Lupron injection but I do not regret having surgery.  My body is still healing from surgery and the shot.  I know that i will take time to figure out what is going on now but I know it will get fixed.  It may not get fixed soon enough but it will over time.  I am confident that everything will be okay no matter what is happening or happens in the future. 

At the end of the day I am thankful that I have it as good as I have it.  Others are less fortunate and are literally fighting for their lives from many different illnesses. 

Take care until next time....

Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde

Well things have been going so so lately. I just have been having some mood swings that are ridiculou, but aren't too often.  I go from laughing to serial killer status in .3 seconds!!!! I have started taking only 2.5 mg of my 5 mg hormone pills every 2 days or so. It is making a difference I have been a little bit happier. My mood swings are less frequent but I am still a bitch when they I occur. Hopefully, I will be off the medicine by the end of June. I think that with a little more time I will be happier and back to my old self. My body has decided that I shouldn't get any sleep. I'm sure it is due to the decrease of hormone pill. However, I can't depend on these pills for forever.

Hot flashes are no joke.  They have gotten crazy.  I feel like I have a fever about 10 hours out of the day.  My body is slowly cooking itself form the inside out.  Joint pain has been a problem once again.  My knees want to buckle after being n my feet after about 5 minutes. 

My left side has started to hurt again.  It is a pain in the butt.  I don't see why it hurts in the same place that it did before surgery, since my ovary is gone.  Hopefully, when I go to the doctor soon they will be able to see what's going on in there.  I hope that everything looks okay and that the shot did some type of good.

It has been a long road for myself, John, close family and friends.  My body is doing what it wants to on its own.  I am hopeful that my body starts to regulates itself soon, and I hope it is real soon.   I am becoming happy again, some pain here and there, no cycle, crazy side effects, but I know things could be worse.

I am thankful for my boyfriend John, my family, and friends that have supported me during this time.  :)

First and Last treatment is DONE! NOW time for me to Recover!

Finally, the 3 month mark came on April 16th, my 23rd birthday.  Now only time will tell what this medication has done to my body.  Hopefully, the affects will wear off in a few weeks.  If not I guess I'll keep taking my hormone pills until I feel somewhat "NORMAL" again. 

I am not under any circumstances having my second Lupron shot.  However, I am continuing my 5mg hormone pill everyday for a few more months to help with the "normal" side effects from the drug(hot flashes, mood swings, bone loss, and headaches).  You could not pay me enough money in the world to do something that stupid!  My hot flashes, pelvic bone pain,  dry skin, and indigestion have gotten a little worse in the past week.  However, worse things could of been getting worse.  I know my body is now trying to transition itself again.  I know I am looking at my side effects getting more intense while the Lupron wears off and I slowly re-adjust.  I have picked up an old hobby of mine that I started when I was about 8.  I am now making custom little girls tutu's, dresses, and hair accessories by hand.  I am so happy that I am back into something I love doing!  If you would like any custom items you can find me at Sew Girly by Sara on facebook.  I have noticed that I feel better about what is going on when I am sewing or doing crafts.  It puts my mind at ease.  Trust me,  that is a great thing to have right now!

I hope and I pray everyday that my body gets back to a "normal" way of functioning.  Yes, I know that m Endometriosis will continue to affect me unless it is cut off or I have whats left of my reproductive system removed.  Only time will tell if this shot has helped or if it has actually made me worse.  I know some things it has made worse.  I am confident that no matter what this awful drug throws my way that I will be able to beat it and overcome what has become a painful adventure.  My body and mind are exhausted and are hurting.  I am very thankful that I have such an amazing boyfriend, family, and friends.  As time goes by we will all know what benefits, and what long term side effects I will have from Lupron.  Trust me I will let you know!  Remember Lupron is not a joke and has killed people from reactions, short and long term side effects.  It effects simple everyday routines.  It is a poision that breaks down your bones and weakens your entire body.  It may help your pain during those 3 or 6 months of treatment but your pain will come back without it.  It is recommended that anyone that takes Lupron should NEVER DO MORE THAN A 6 MONTH TREATMENT IN A LIFETIME EXCEPT FOR CANCER PATIENTS!!  THAT IS HOW POTENT IT IS!

Maybe on the next post I make I can say I have a healthy menstrual cycle, my only ovary works, and all side effects are gone!!  Have a great day :)

2 Months Down, Maybe a Lifetime to Go!

Since my last blog nothing has really changed except my spine now hurts everyday at some point, my knees swell, all my joints hurt, my hair continues to fall out, the mood swings are bad once again, I got sick and I feel weak.  I feel like I am one giant transplant that my body is rejecting.  My body is getting very tired.  

I feel like saying to people that say they know exactly what I'm going through even though they have no idea the MTV's TruLife statement:  "You think you know, but you have NO idea".  Unless you have had this happen to you, you honestly have no idea.  If you don't know how this feels you are so blessed to not know.  Anyways....

On April 16th which is my 23rd birthday will be the 90th day of my 90 day injection treatment.  It will be like D-Day for me I will be free but not out of the woods.  I will be so happy when my body gets back to something like normal.  Hopefully, my body will start working properly and all the side effects of the Lupron will go away.  I don't mean to be a "Negative Nancy", but I know the side effects will affect me forever. 

I keep thinking about the long term side effects of this medication and it saddens me deeply.  From Will I be able to have children of my own?  What would not being able to have children do to John and my relationship?  Will the mood swings and anger break us up?  Will this Chemotherapy drug slowly kill all of my good cells?  Will I get cancer like a lot of other Lupron patients?  Did I just ruin my life by getting this shot?  There are a lot more questions that only time will answer.  I wish doctors would give you all the information or even the pharmaceutical companies would.  I had to read a  "side effects list" from the pharmaceutical company and sign it before getting the shot.  About 3/4 of the side effects I am or have experienced were not on there or ever mentioned to me.  I looked up why health insurance doesn't cover Lupron it's because the long term side effects are so damn bad they don't want to pay for such a toxin.  I don't blame them.  I wish I knew what I know now.  I signed my life away so some pharmaceutical company could use me as a guinea pig.  It's sad but I do feel like a damn guinea pig while my doctor makes money, while my body slowly deteriorate before my eyes.  A full course of treatment is 6 months of hell.  Well, 3 months will be just long enough for me!!!!  Hell the past 2 months have been enough for me and everyone involved.  Believe me I AM NOT getting the second dose of the Lupron. 

At the end of the day all I want to be my old self again the Sara that existed before the pain began.  My relationship has suffered so much since around December 2009.  It has been a challenge, a hard thing to overcome, but we have.  I am so glad that the man I love understands even in my darkest moments.  Especially, when I know he wants to strangle me (which he would ever actually do, it is a figure of speech).  I know that one day the old Sara will be back, but it is going to take time.  I have to heal physically from my surgery back in December, the Lupron, and the side effects.  I have to heal mentally and emotionally from the stress, anxiety, depression, weight gain, and anger the Lupron has caused me.  After all of this is said and done with I hope and pray that I am endometriosis free, and back to my normal old Sara self :)

2 months, 19 days and WTF?!?

I have no idea where to begin.  I guess I should let everyone know I haven't lost my mind too terribly much since my last blog.

My pelvic pain has been flaring up more recently.  My back is popping and cracking all the way to my butt(which is an unpleasant feeling).  Hot flashes have been crazy the past few days.  Talk about mood swings galore.  Ugh I am miserable.  Not to mention I have no energy, my hair is falling out and my bones are hurting so bad.  I am having horrible migraines, my eyes hurt worse than normal and my hearing is getting worse.  

I have been doing a lot of research on Lupron, and the short and long term effects of this drug.  Well, what do you know all of the side effects were not given to me to make a better judgement on the medicine.  I am so upset with my doctor, and the pharmaceutical company for even allowing this medicine on the market.  More people have been hurt by it than helped.  This is a Chemotherapy drug and it is a very serious and toxic drug to put into your body.  I do NOT recommend anyone no matter what to take this medicine.  The FDA released a letter years ago that showed that the scientist working on Lupron falsified 80% of his documentation on the side effects and benefits of this drug.  I mean really?!?!  You are playing with people's lives here and they don't care.  They are poisoning people to make money.  I wish the next lawsuit that goes to court to ban this medication wins and no one has to ever be injected with this nasty medicine. 

Hopefully, I am not one of the many that have to deal with horrible and life threatening effects of this medication.  I know a few of you that read my blog are on this shot as well.  I recommend doing your research on this drug and what it is doing to your body.
WE ARE REALLY LIVING IN AN NIGHTMARE!!!!!!

One Month and 2 days

Within the last week a lot of things have changed.  The best change is that my mood swings are going away very fast! :)  Thank goodness.  The worst part is I keep getting killer headaches :(  I must say that within the last 2 months(since the surgery)  my body has been under tremendous stress.  I am starting to feel like a new person in the sense that my mood changes are no longer as rapid.  It has been only a month and 2 days since my shot but it has been a VERY long journey so far.  I can only see it getting better from here on out.  Well, that is the plan anyways. 

These changes haven't only affected me.  My boyfriend, family, and friends have been the victim of raging hormonal abuse!  I know that they know I am not trying to be mean or rude to them.  It was/is hard to control a surge of hormones in your body that you can't control how fast they release.  I am just very blessed that my boyfriend, family, and friends have been so understanding and supportive through all of this.  I love you guys <3

The next 2 months are supposed to be less stressful and I will be less "crazy".  I could use a little less crazy right now!  I am just happy to say that I am feeling better and that things are looking up.  I will not know what the consequences of getting this shot will be until the shot wears off in 2 months and then recovery time is up to 57 weeks.  I know those weeks while I am waiting to see if my right ovary starts working properly are going to be hard.  All I want is for that ovary to work and one day have children.  I know that may not be the case but either way I can say I am on the road to recovery, educating people on this disease, and living one day at a time almost pain free!! 

I am 1 of millions, I am not alone!

Do you think you are alone in the fight with endometriosis and early menopause?  If your answer is yes, you are very wrong.  Roughly 176 million women and girls around the world are suffering from endometriosis, early menopause or both.  In America and Canada there is said to be 8.5 million endometriosis suffers.  An estimated 5.5 million women and girls are diagnosed with endometriosis every year. 

                                                                                     

I am not alone in this battle with endometriosis and early menopause.  Guess what?  You are not alone either.  I know that this disease does leave us feeling lonely, depressed and very emotional among a huge list of things. 

Just remember you are not alone.  There are millions of us going through this right now, as I am writing this and as you’re reading this blog.  You have a support system in me, other suffers, family, and friends.  Your fellow comrades that are in battle with you understand what you are going through or have been through it.  If you need to have support from a fellow comrade just ask.  I am here for you; I understand what you are going through.

Let's educate those who do not have endometriosis.  Let's support those that do have it.  Let's be there for each other.  Most importantly, let’s march on this battlefield together and beat Endometriosis!  

Week #3 of Lupron

Today, marks 3 weeks since I was given my menopause shot.  There has been so many changes going on since I got the shot.  The next day after getting the shot I boarded a train, and moved to Connecticut to be with my boyfriend.  So, I have been trying to adjust to a new state, a new home, and menopause.  I am adjusting to Connecticut and our new home more so than the menopause.

I've seen women go through menopause and thought WOW that doesn't look to terrible.  I guess they either were blessed to not have a bad experience or they are masking it.  I never thought that at 22 I would ever be going through this type of life change.  I feel like my body is my own enemy.  Every second, minute, and hour it's like I am a different person, or in another mood.  It is so frustrating to go back and forth.  I wish my body would figure itself out.

I have had a few moments of acting like a 5 year old not getting her way.  The crazy thing is that it is usually over nothing and I go from laughing to filled with rage.  I know this is a side effect from all the medications I have in my body and the hormonal change, but it is insane.

I have become insanely emotional!  I cry like someone just killed my dog or something horrible for no reason.  I look like I have waterfalls streaming down my face.  The smallest thing will make me cry.  You can compliment me and I will either say thank you, cry, or try to rip your head off.

I keep telling myself that these extremes should end in about another week or so.  I pray that they do.  I am just very blessed to have such an amazing boyfriend that is holding nothing against me.  He is a great supporter.  He has been wonderful and amazing through this whole thing :)  

Endometriosis to Early Menopause

It has been 2 weeks and 2 days since I got my Lupron shot and started Add Back.  WOW it has been a journey that I did not expect.  I thought when I first started my menstrual cycle was bad, it doesn't compare.  I don't just have symptoms of menopause but side effects from both the Lupron and Add Back as well.  Hot flashes, cold flashes, flushes, insomnia, night sweats, nausea, loss of libido, vaginal dryness, mood swings, depression, random crying, memory lapses, difficulty concentrating, severe headaches, dizziness, loss of balance, incontinence, bloating, irregular heartbeat, irritability, aching sore joints & tendons, digestion problems, indigestion, low blood sugar, and more pelvic pain are the things I have been experiencing for the past 16 days.  This has been the roller coaster I have been referring too.  It has been very difficult to deal with.  I have sudden, unexplained outburst.  Obviously my body is under some serious changes but it is still hard to understand what is going on.

Due to the surge of hormones I have right now my pelvic pain is back.  I hope it subsides with 2 weeks when the surge dies down.  After the surge is over I will only have hormones that are in my 5mg pill I have to take every morning.  I don't know if I will adjust to this cycle of being a hot mess.  My joints and bones are not liking this transition.  I hurt from my head to my toes.  That could also be due to moving recently, and that I started working out again.

I hope that all my side effects, and symptoms will subside soon.  They are  taking their toll on me and everyone around me especially my supportive boyfriend!


I am just very blessed that I have a support system that understands what is going on right now :)

What is Endometriosis?

Endometriosis  is a gynecological medical condition in which cells from the lining of the uterus (endometrium) appear and flourish outside the uterine cavity, most commonly on the ovaries. The uterine cavity is lined by endometrial cells, which are under the influence of female hormones. These endometrial-like cells in areas outside the uterus (endometriosis) are influenced by hormonal changes and respond in a way that is similar to the cells found inside the uterus. Symptoms often worsen with the menstrual cycle.

Endometriosis is typically seen during the reproductive years; it has been estimated that endometriosis occurs in roughly 5–10% of women. Symptoms may depend on the site of active endometriosis. Its main but not universal symptom is pelvic pain in various manifestations.

Endometriosis is one of the most common health problems that women and girls face.  This disease is common in women in their 30’s and 40’s but any female with a menstrual cycle can develop it.  The average age of someone that is diagnosed is 27 years old.  It is estimated that more than $22 billion is spent every year on treatment for Endometriosis.

Most women do not get diagnosed until they have problems becoming pregnant.  30-40% of women with Endometriosis are infertile.  Endometriosis is the third most common cause for infertility. 

Red Endometriosis

White Endometriosis (these are new growths)

Endometriosis on the ovary 

Signs and Symptoms of Endometriosis 

Pelvic Pain

• Dysmenorrhea – painful, sometimes disabling cramps during menses; pain may get worse over time (progressive pain), also lower back pains linked to the pelvis
• Chronic Pelvic Pain – typically accompanied by lower back pain or abdominal pain
• Dyspareunia – painful sex
• Dysuria – urinary urgency, frequency, and sometimes painful voiding

Infertility  
Constipation
Chronic Fatigue 

Complications of Endometriosis includes:

• Internal scarring
• Adhesions
• Pelvic cysts
• Chocolate cyst of ovaries
• Ruptured cyst
• Bowel obstruction
• Infertility

Generation of pain

The way endometriosis causes pain is the subject of much research. Because many women with endometriosis feel pain during or around their periods and may spill further menstrual flow into the pelvis with each menstruation, some researchers are trying to reduce menstrual events in patients with endometriosis.
Endometriosis lesions react to hormonal stimulation and may "bleed" at the time of menstruation. The blood accumulates locally, causes swelling, and triggers inflammatory responses with the activation of cytokines. It is thought that this process may cause pain.
Pain can also occur from adhesions (internal scar tissue) binding internal organs to each other, causing organ dislocation. Fallopian tubes, ovaries, the uterus, the bowels, and the bladder can be bound together in ways that are painful on a daily basis, not just during menstrual periods.
Also, endometriotic lesions can develop their own nerve supply, thereby creating a direct and two-way interaction between lesions and the central nervous system, potentially producing a variety of individual differences in pain that can, in some women, become independent of the disease itself.

Localization

Most endometriosis is found on these structures in the pelvic cavity:

• Ovaries (the most common site)
• Fallopian tubes
• The back of the uterus and the posterior cul-de-sac
• The front of the uterus and the anterior cul-de-sac
• Uterine ligaments such as the broad or round ligament of the uterus
• Pelvic and back wall
• Intestines, most commonly the rectosigmoid
• Urinary bladder and ureters

Bowel endometriosis affects approximately 10% of women with endometriosis, and can cause severe pain with bowel movements.
Endometriosis may spread to the cervix and vagina or to sites of a surgical abdominal incision.
Endometriosis may also present with skin lesions in cutaneous endometriosis.
Less commonly lesions can be found on the diaphragm. Diaphragmatic endometriosis is rare, almost always on the right hemidiaphragm, and may inflict cyclic pain of the right shoulder just before and during menses. Rarely, endometriosis can be extraperitoneal and is found in the lungs and CNS.