At the beginning of May I went to my first Endocrinology appointment. It was awful. The doctor would not listen to anything I had to say and rushed me right out.
I asked her about my fluctuating TSH levels and IVF. She said go for it even though my TSH is all over the place. Your TSH has to be under control to be a candidate for IVF. This did not make me very happy. She diagnosed me with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis even though my TSH is not too low. I demanded medication to help some of the side effects I've been having. She didn't want to help me. She told me I was fat and needed to lose 20-40 pounds in the next 6 months and if I don't she will medicate me to do so. This didn't make me happy. The list of things that happened during this appointment goes on but I will move on. I started Synthroid and started having "all day sickness".
I went to my PCM a week after my Endocrinology appointment. He was not thrilled with how that appointment went. He said that the nausea was normal for my new medication and it should hopefully go away. During his exam I was diagnosed with arthritis, shin splints, a sprained ankle and possible Sciatica. They did x-rays and an ultrasound. The ultrasound was done to look for possible hernias. The ultrasound was negative and I find out the x-ray results this Friday. They did say I could have pelvic adhesion's from my surgeries and that could be causing the pain.
I had some allergy test done and had a delayed rare reaction to mold. Anyways, the Allergist said there is a link between my crazy sensitive skin and Hashimoto's. So I have some new information on my allergies. This is great :)
I had to go back to my PCM because I am not digesting my food properly, and having nausea and vomiting. I swear if it isn't one thing it is 50 million more. I did an x-ray and on Thursday I have a CT scan to check for blockages and hernias. I may have Celiac Disease as well.
I go for my second opinion with a new Endocrinologist on June 19th. She is also an OBGYN and Reproductive Endocrinologist so she can help me in many ways. She is trained in advanced tubal obstruction surgery as well. Maybe she can take a look to see if she can clear my tube. That would be awesome!!!! I have been looking more into adoption so we have a better picture for both IVF and Adopting. We will have to do some soul searching, have more medical questions answered, and save a lot of money before we can do either.
Next post will be about my feelings towards IVF, adoption and how in the world we will pay for it.
Until next time.....
Monday, June 3, 2013
Monday, April 15, 2013
Pregnancy to Miscarriage to Years of Suffering
Well, this post is about something I don't really share with many people. When I was 19 I had a miscarriage. I finally realized that I shouldn't be ashamed of it, that it is part of me, and it is still causing pain. Here is my story.........
I got pregnant at 19 years old. I found out on April 1st. Everyone thought it was an April's Fools joke but it was not. I started having sharp pain in my side and I called my doctor I had then. He said it could be ectopic and go to the ER, they would be waiting for me. So I did what he told me to do. Sure enough I was pregnant and I was around 7-8 weeks pregnant. I didn't know what to say or think besides I had to take responsibility for my and my then boyfriends actions. They did an ultrasound and they said they could not see anything in the uterus but they could see something around my tube. They said it was ectopic before looking any further. They gave me a double dose of Methotrexate. They said they would test my hCG levels in two days to see if the drug was working or not.
April 3, 2009 I went and had lab work done. I got a call within an hour after having my blood drawn saying the medicine wasn't working and my hormones were rising. I had to have an Emergency Laparotomy so the "ectopic" pregnancy didn't force m tube to rupture. I was scared, nervous and a little relived in a odd way. I wasn't ready to have a baby by no means, but I had too. I went into surgery and finally woke up in the recovery room. I was in so much pain it wasn't even funny. I finally saw the doctor and he told me I was going to have a baby!!! I think every curse word came out of my mouth! I went into surgery thinking I would wake up and not be pregnant anymore, instead I woke up and still was! I was in total shock. I had to stay a few nights in the hospital. They told me I would still most likely have a miscarriage. I was more more afraid of the miscarriage than the thought of having the baby. I didn't know what to expect or what to do. I was given medication to take once I started to bleed to produce contractions so I would pass everything on my own.
A week and a half later, I woke up with mild cramps and then I started bleeding. IT WAS MY WORST NIGHTMARE!!! The pain and bleeding lasted hours. Finally, it was over. I remember how heartbroken I was. Imagine looking at that an thinking that was just inside of you, and was to be a beautiful baby. It was anything but beautiful.
Every time I see my scar across my stomach I am reminded of the pain, heartache, and horror that took place. I think what life would be like if I didn't have a miscarriage. I didn't loose a blob of tissue... I lost my baby!
It breaks my heart that I got pregnant with a guy I couldn't stand, and now I am unable to have children with my husband without help from science. I do my best not to beat myself up about this but at times it is hard. John and I have been through a lot and we have a lot more to go through before the "happy road".
It is believed that the surgery to remove what they thought was an ectopic pregnancy caused my endometrial tissue to escape the uterus and cause my Endometriosis. They also think it may of caused my tube to become obstructed. They are looking into what was done.
Remember, life is precious and your decisions have consequences. I learned the hard way.
Until next time.......
I got pregnant at 19 years old. I found out on April 1st. Everyone thought it was an April's Fools joke but it was not. I started having sharp pain in my side and I called my doctor I had then. He said it could be ectopic and go to the ER, they would be waiting for me. So I did what he told me to do. Sure enough I was pregnant and I was around 7-8 weeks pregnant. I didn't know what to say or think besides I had to take responsibility for my and my then boyfriends actions. They did an ultrasound and they said they could not see anything in the uterus but they could see something around my tube. They said it was ectopic before looking any further. They gave me a double dose of Methotrexate. They said they would test my hCG levels in two days to see if the drug was working or not.
April 3, 2009 I went and had lab work done. I got a call within an hour after having my blood drawn saying the medicine wasn't working and my hormones were rising. I had to have an Emergency Laparotomy so the "ectopic" pregnancy didn't force m tube to rupture. I was scared, nervous and a little relived in a odd way. I wasn't ready to have a baby by no means, but I had too. I went into surgery and finally woke up in the recovery room. I was in so much pain it wasn't even funny. I finally saw the doctor and he told me I was going to have a baby!!! I think every curse word came out of my mouth! I went into surgery thinking I would wake up and not be pregnant anymore, instead I woke up and still was! I was in total shock. I had to stay a few nights in the hospital. They told me I would still most likely have a miscarriage. I was more more afraid of the miscarriage than the thought of having the baby. I didn't know what to expect or what to do. I was given medication to take once I started to bleed to produce contractions so I would pass everything on my own.
A week and a half later, I woke up with mild cramps and then I started bleeding. IT WAS MY WORST NIGHTMARE!!! The pain and bleeding lasted hours. Finally, it was over. I remember how heartbroken I was. Imagine looking at that an thinking that was just inside of you, and was to be a beautiful baby. It was anything but beautiful.
Every time I see my scar across my stomach I am reminded of the pain, heartache, and horror that took place. I think what life would be like if I didn't have a miscarriage. I didn't loose a blob of tissue... I lost my baby!
It breaks my heart that I got pregnant with a guy I couldn't stand, and now I am unable to have children with my husband without help from science. I do my best not to beat myself up about this but at times it is hard. John and I have been through a lot and we have a lot more to go through before the "happy road".
It is believed that the surgery to remove what they thought was an ectopic pregnancy caused my endometrial tissue to escape the uterus and cause my Endometriosis. They also think it may of caused my tube to become obstructed. They are looking into what was done.
Remember, life is precious and your decisions have consequences. I learned the hard way.
Until next time.......
Saturday, April 13, 2013
HSG Nightmare and Options
On Wednesday I went and had my Hysterosalpinogram (HSG). This was used to see if my right tube was still obstructed, if it had opened or see if they could open it.
Things started like it normally would for an x-ray. I got onto the table and laid down. Then they start violating your lady parts. My doctor numbed my cervix and the Radiologist came in to take the x-rays. My doctor reminded me that there was a small chance that the Lupron had helped. He also said it would hurt like Hell if the tube was still closed and the dye had nowhere to go.
When we are all ready he started injecting the dye through the cervix and into the uterus. he looked at me and said its about to hurt really bad! Oh My Golly it hurt like HELL!!! My left tube is sewn shut from my previous surgeries and my right tube is still obstructed. There was a tiny portion of the tube that was open but it is right beside the uterus.
After the procedure was done and I was still in pain he started explaining things to me. He did mention that after he reviews the films we could possibly do surgery to open the tube. After the severe cramps started to get better I went home.
The next day I went to talk to my doctor. I went thinking that he could do surgery and help us. I was wrong on the surgery part, but he can help us.
I love my doctor and he decided after reviewing the films that he would not operate to fix my tube. He would have to do a major surgery to even attempt to fix it. He would have to remove the upper corner of the uterus as well and reattach it. This is very risky on many levels. When you start cutting your uterus in pieces your risking never to be able to have a baby even with IVF.
So no surgery and NO MORE LUPRON were decided to help improve my health. I will have a period in about 1-3 months and it will probably be heavy, more clotting, and very painful. So, if it turns out to be that way I will have Implanon implanted in my arm to help that. We will see if my body has decided to ovulate via ultrasound and blood work after a few cycles. The #1 thing that I have to do right now is get my thyroid under control!!!!
We also talked about how I feel and how things were going. He said he has obviously seen people in our position before and he opened up on what he thought about me. He explained to me what he saw. He said that I was thinking about right now and not my over all general and reproductive health! I realized he was right. It was hard to hear in some ways but I needed to hear it. I mean our sex life has been based off of a calendar of when I should ovulate even though I know I don't ovulate. It made me realize that I am making my husband suffer as well. It is not fair for me to do this to him or to myself. I have to think about what his needs are and my needs. I have to think about our future, getting myself health, and my reproductive health.
At the end of the day IVF and Adoption are our only option. It has caused us pain, heartache, and stress. However, we will do what is best for our family. We will one day have a beautiful family no matter how it happens.
Until next time......
Things started like it normally would for an x-ray. I got onto the table and laid down. Then they start violating your lady parts. My doctor numbed my cervix and the Radiologist came in to take the x-rays. My doctor reminded me that there was a small chance that the Lupron had helped. He also said it would hurt like Hell if the tube was still closed and the dye had nowhere to go.
When we are all ready he started injecting the dye through the cervix and into the uterus. he looked at me and said its about to hurt really bad! Oh My Golly it hurt like HELL!!! My left tube is sewn shut from my previous surgeries and my right tube is still obstructed. There was a tiny portion of the tube that was open but it is right beside the uterus.
After the procedure was done and I was still in pain he started explaining things to me. He did mention that after he reviews the films we could possibly do surgery to open the tube. After the severe cramps started to get better I went home.
The next day I went to talk to my doctor. I went thinking that he could do surgery and help us. I was wrong on the surgery part, but he can help us.
I love my doctor and he decided after reviewing the films that he would not operate to fix my tube. He would have to do a major surgery to even attempt to fix it. He would have to remove the upper corner of the uterus as well and reattach it. This is very risky on many levels. When you start cutting your uterus in pieces your risking never to be able to have a baby even with IVF.
So no surgery and NO MORE LUPRON were decided to help improve my health. I will have a period in about 1-3 months and it will probably be heavy, more clotting, and very painful. So, if it turns out to be that way I will have Implanon implanted in my arm to help that. We will see if my body has decided to ovulate via ultrasound and blood work after a few cycles. The #1 thing that I have to do right now is get my thyroid under control!!!!
We also talked about how I feel and how things were going. He said he has obviously seen people in our position before and he opened up on what he thought about me. He explained to me what he saw. He said that I was thinking about right now and not my over all general and reproductive health! I realized he was right. It was hard to hear in some ways but I needed to hear it. I mean our sex life has been based off of a calendar of when I should ovulate even though I know I don't ovulate. It made me realize that I am making my husband suffer as well. It is not fair for me to do this to him or to myself. I have to think about what his needs are and my needs. I have to think about our future, getting myself health, and my reproductive health.
At the end of the day IVF and Adoption are our only option. It has caused us pain, heartache, and stress. However, we will do what is best for our family. We will one day have a beautiful family no matter how it happens.
Until next time......
Saturday, March 30, 2013
UCONN Appointment
On Thursday I went to UCONN. I got good and not so good news.
So, here we go.........
My Thyroid Antibodies are still increasing as my Thyroid starts to fail. They are 24 times higher than the normal range. My actual TSH is normal but is in the very low part of normal. I am going be seeing an Endocrinologist so he can monitor my Thyroid and treat my symptoms. I can start medication to replace Thyroid hormones once it actually fails.
My fertility doctor wants me to have my HSG like my OB wants in a few weeks. Everyone is very skeptical if the Lupron has done anything. I have been advised to stop getting Lupron injections. If it worked or at least helped and they can open the tube more we may be able to do an IUI. That would be nice since it is a lot cheaper and less for us to go through.
IVF is going to actually be a little bit less expensive than we thought. It will be about $10,000 for an entire cycle. When we priced it out at other places it was between $15,000-20,000. I will take $10,000 instead ;) So that is excellent news. John and I still need to discuss everything.
I started the lab test to get the ball rolling just in case if we decide to do the IVF :) :)
Now for the not so thrilling news.......
I have fluid in my uterus. There is a chance that is side effect from the Norethindrone. After I start cycles again they will look again to see if it is still there.
My poor ovary was really small even for being suppressed. It was smaller this time than what it was the last time I was on the Lupron.
There was talk that there could be a chance that I don't have enough eggs :\ :\ We will have to wait for the Lupron to wear off to get a clearer picture.
My doctor believes my pain I am having right now is being caused by hernias. They believe the hernias are through the holes in the Peritoneum that supports the uterus. So we have to wait and see what my PCM says. If I do have them I will have to have them surgically removed.
Needless to say John and I have lots to talk about and we also have a lot more waiting to do. I appreciate all of y'alls support and prayers. Thank you Bridget for going with me :)
Until next time.............
So, here we go.........
My Thyroid Antibodies are still increasing as my Thyroid starts to fail. They are 24 times higher than the normal range. My actual TSH is normal but is in the very low part of normal. I am going be seeing an Endocrinologist so he can monitor my Thyroid and treat my symptoms. I can start medication to replace Thyroid hormones once it actually fails.
My fertility doctor wants me to have my HSG like my OB wants in a few weeks. Everyone is very skeptical if the Lupron has done anything. I have been advised to stop getting Lupron injections. If it worked or at least helped and they can open the tube more we may be able to do an IUI. That would be nice since it is a lot cheaper and less for us to go through.
IVF is going to actually be a little bit less expensive than we thought. It will be about $10,000 for an entire cycle. When we priced it out at other places it was between $15,000-20,000. I will take $10,000 instead ;) So that is excellent news. John and I still need to discuss everything.
I started the lab test to get the ball rolling just in case if we decide to do the IVF :) :)
Now for the not so thrilling news.......
I have fluid in my uterus. There is a chance that is side effect from the Norethindrone. After I start cycles again they will look again to see if it is still there.
My poor ovary was really small even for being suppressed. It was smaller this time than what it was the last time I was on the Lupron.
There was talk that there could be a chance that I don't have enough eggs :\ :\ We will have to wait for the Lupron to wear off to get a clearer picture.
My doctor believes my pain I am having right now is being caused by hernias. They believe the hernias are through the holes in the Peritoneum that supports the uterus. So we have to wait and see what my PCM says. If I do have them I will have to have them surgically removed.
Needless to say John and I have lots to talk about and we also have a lot more waiting to do. I appreciate all of y'alls support and prayers. Thank you Bridget for going with me :)
Until next time.............
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Another Speed Bump
Things have been quite crazy and hectic recently. Due to some family matters I have been out of town for two weeks now. I have had to delay my Lupron shot for a week. I can tell the last injection is wearing off :\. Thankful I have plenty of Norethindrone pills left. I have to go get some blood work done on Wednesday afternoon. Depending on that will determine if I can even have the last Lurpon injection.
Before I mentioned that my Thyroid Anti-bodies were high and my TSH was still in the normal range. Blood work from last month showed that my TSH is almost off of the lower end of the scale. I have become very exhausted, my hair is falling out and just don't feel well. They will be running the blood work to see if my levels have come down, or if they have gone up. I could be developing Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Grave's Disease or Thyroid Cancer. Hopefully my body is just going crazy and is starting to fix itself. However my TSH has been dropping over the last 7 months. This is just one more thing to add to my plate of hormonal craziness. I am exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally. For any of the possibilites there is a treatment in which I am thankful for.
Anyways, I am supposed to go to UCONN on the 28th still. Tricare got my authorization and referral corrected and taken care of. :) :) I hope I don't have to reschedule this appointment once again! My thyroid problem has to be taken care of before we can try any type of procedure. You never realize how important your Thyroid is until it is broken!
Well this month is Endometriosis Awareness Month! So if you know anyone that is suffering from the disease send them here. Hopefully they can find hope, and answers from my blog. I know it is not easy to deal with. It is a long and hard road to go down but we can hope for a cure one day! In the meantime we can support one another and take appropriate steps to treat our symptoms. Life would be easier without this trail but it will make us stronger even if we don't see that right now.
Until next time.....
Before I mentioned that my Thyroid Anti-bodies were high and my TSH was still in the normal range. Blood work from last month showed that my TSH is almost off of the lower end of the scale. I have become very exhausted, my hair is falling out and just don't feel well. They will be running the blood work to see if my levels have come down, or if they have gone up. I could be developing Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Grave's Disease or Thyroid Cancer. Hopefully my body is just going crazy and is starting to fix itself. However my TSH has been dropping over the last 7 months. This is just one more thing to add to my plate of hormonal craziness. I am exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally. For any of the possibilites there is a treatment in which I am thankful for.
Anyways, I am supposed to go to UCONN on the 28th still. Tricare got my authorization and referral corrected and taken care of. :) :) I hope I don't have to reschedule this appointment once again! My thyroid problem has to be taken care of before we can try any type of procedure. You never realize how important your Thyroid is until it is broken!
Well this month is Endometriosis Awareness Month! So if you know anyone that is suffering from the disease send them here. Hopefully they can find hope, and answers from my blog. I know it is not easy to deal with. It is a long and hard road to go down but we can hope for a cure one day! In the meantime we can support one another and take appropriate steps to treat our symptoms. Life would be easier without this trail but it will make us stronger even if we don't see that right now.
Until next time.....
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Round 2 of Lupron
Last week I got my second monthly injection of Lupron. Things are still going much better that the one three month injection :) I think I would even recommend the one month injection for three months to those that are in the same situation I am in.
I am supposed to go to UCONN Fertility Clinic on Tuesday but thanks to the Clinic, my OBGYN and Tricare not talking properly I may not be able to go. I am not very happy about that. I have been waiting for over a month to go! Tricare thought I was having a procedure done on Tuesday which is far from being true. All I need to do is have a consult so John and I can see what our options are and how much the IVF will cost us.
When I got my shot my doctor tried to lift my spirits. He kept reminding me that the Lupron should help me even though the odds are low. Since there was no evidence of trauma or infection to the outside of my tube that the blockage should just be Endometriosis. If this shot works and clears part of the tube it will be a miracle. See even if it doesn't open up 100% he can open it with a Hysterasalpinogram. If he can open it we won't need IVF and we can just keep doing IUI's for a while. Eventually, if the IUI's don't work we will need to try IVF. No matter what we will need help so we can have better chances.
I am praying that I can go to UCONN on Tuesday and that the Lupron opens my tube. Even if it only opens it enough for my doctor to do the rest I will be a happy camper!! I want to be able to start a family with my amazing husband almost more than anything in the world! I am very blessed to have such an understanding, supportive, caring, and loving support team.
Until next time.....
I am supposed to go to UCONN Fertility Clinic on Tuesday but thanks to the Clinic, my OBGYN and Tricare not talking properly I may not be able to go. I am not very happy about that. I have been waiting for over a month to go! Tricare thought I was having a procedure done on Tuesday which is far from being true. All I need to do is have a consult so John and I can see what our options are and how much the IVF will cost us.
When I got my shot my doctor tried to lift my spirits. He kept reminding me that the Lupron should help me even though the odds are low. Since there was no evidence of trauma or infection to the outside of my tube that the blockage should just be Endometriosis. If this shot works and clears part of the tube it will be a miracle. See even if it doesn't open up 100% he can open it with a Hysterasalpinogram. If he can open it we won't need IVF and we can just keep doing IUI's for a while. Eventually, if the IUI's don't work we will need to try IVF. No matter what we will need help so we can have better chances.
I am praying that I can go to UCONN on Tuesday and that the Lupron opens my tube. Even if it only opens it enough for my doctor to do the rest I will be a happy camper!! I want to be able to start a family with my amazing husband almost more than anything in the world! I am very blessed to have such an understanding, supportive, caring, and loving support team.
Until next time.....
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Lupron Delayed :\
So today I was supposed to get my second one month Lupron injection. It has been delayed due to a severe reaction during my allergy testing yesterday :\ I just want to get this over with so we can do the Hysterosalpingogram to see if all this craziness was worth it.
Yesterday, I did the Penicillin Allergy Test since I had a childhood allergy to all Penicillins. Things were going great. I had no reactions to any of the intra-dermal injections. Things took a turn for the worse once I took 500mg of Amoxicillin orally. About 10 minutes after taking the pills I started getting nauseous and tired. Not thinking about it I called John. My face started feeling puffy and I got to a point where I couldn't keep my eyes open. I got off the phone and pressed the alarm that the nurse gave me incase something like this happened. She came in looked at me and I told her I was really sleepy. She ran out of the room and got the doctor. He took one look at me with that look that you know that the doctor knows something bad is happening. They put me up on the exam table and started listing to my breathing. He said my throat was swelling and needed the Epipen. When they did the Epipen the doctor said you are going to feel wide awake in the next 2 minutes. Oh my was he not joking! I felt like a deer in headlights. My eyes felt like they were bulging out and I could breathe better. The first time I had taken any type of Penicillin in 17 years I had an Anaphylaxis Reaction. So needless to say I now have Epipens. I have to take Prednisone today and tomorrow just to make sure I don't have any delayed reactions.
Next Thursday I get the Lupron shot and then 12 days later I go to UCONN. I am so thankful I have friends that are willing to go with me when John can't. My support team is great and I couldn't ask for better people in my life.
Hopefully, the Lupron works and we won't need IVF. Even if we don't need IVF we still need assistance since my reproductive system is screwed up. I still do not ovulate on my own. I retake my Thyroid test right before I go to UCONN. I hope and pray that is better than the last time. The last thing I need is Hashimoto Thyroiditis on top of everything else.
That is really that is all that is happening right now.
Until next time.......
Yesterday, I did the Penicillin Allergy Test since I had a childhood allergy to all Penicillins. Things were going great. I had no reactions to any of the intra-dermal injections. Things took a turn for the worse once I took 500mg of Amoxicillin orally. About 10 minutes after taking the pills I started getting nauseous and tired. Not thinking about it I called John. My face started feeling puffy and I got to a point where I couldn't keep my eyes open. I got off the phone and pressed the alarm that the nurse gave me incase something like this happened. She came in looked at me and I told her I was really sleepy. She ran out of the room and got the doctor. He took one look at me with that look that you know that the doctor knows something bad is happening. They put me up on the exam table and started listing to my breathing. He said my throat was swelling and needed the Epipen. When they did the Epipen the doctor said you are going to feel wide awake in the next 2 minutes. Oh my was he not joking! I felt like a deer in headlights. My eyes felt like they were bulging out and I could breathe better. The first time I had taken any type of Penicillin in 17 years I had an Anaphylaxis Reaction. So needless to say I now have Epipens. I have to take Prednisone today and tomorrow just to make sure I don't have any delayed reactions.
Next Thursday I get the Lupron shot and then 12 days later I go to UCONN. I am so thankful I have friends that are willing to go with me when John can't. My support team is great and I couldn't ask for better people in my life.
Hopefully, the Lupron works and we won't need IVF. Even if we don't need IVF we still need assistance since my reproductive system is screwed up. I still do not ovulate on my own. I retake my Thyroid test right before I go to UCONN. I hope and pray that is better than the last time. The last thing I need is Hashimoto Thyroiditis on top of everything else.
That is really that is all that is happening right now.
Until next time.......
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Week 3 of Lupron
It's been a while since I last blogged. Not a whole lot has changed. I do have some good news though........ I haven't completely lost my mind or gone psycho like my last Lupron treatment last year!
In a week I will be getting my second injection in hopes that it somewhat clears my fallopian tube. I have had some of the side effects like last year but they aren't as bad. I am having more memory loss and confusion which stinks. I have to say that my new doctor was right about the 1 month injections. They are not as horrible as the 3 month ones.
My poor belly button is still healing. It looks better but still gross. Since my immune system is so gone it takes me a while to heal. Hopefully in the next month it will be completely healed but it will never look normal again. If you got to the bottom of the this post you will see my lovely belly button :\
I am still going to UCONN next month! I am excited but very nervous of what will be said. IVF is very expensive and trying to get my husband there will be a task. There is so much paperwork it isn't even funny!! I am thankful one of my lovely friends has offered to go with me. I am throwing a baby shower for this friend this weekend and I have gone crazy and this baby shower is going to be AWESOME!!! One of these days I will have my own baby shower.
Now I must vent for a minute!
I am so sick of people that have never had difficulty getting pregnant, or don't have Endometriosis telling me they know how I feel. If you have never had a fertility problem you don't know how I feel. Yes, I know there are plenty of children that need a home in the world but with my husbands job we wouldn't be able to adopt right now. Adoption is also expensive and it's worth us trying to have our own children at this point. Another thing don't joke about my infertility because it is not funny. I would never wish this on anyone even my worst enemy. This is difficult and no one should tell me that it can't be that bad or hard to deal with! While most of you can make babies the "normal" way our baby or babies will be created by a lab tech in a petri dish.
Until next time....
In a week I will be getting my second injection in hopes that it somewhat clears my fallopian tube. I have had some of the side effects like last year but they aren't as bad. I am having more memory loss and confusion which stinks. I have to say that my new doctor was right about the 1 month injections. They are not as horrible as the 3 month ones.
My poor belly button is still healing. It looks better but still gross. Since my immune system is so gone it takes me a while to heal. Hopefully in the next month it will be completely healed but it will never look normal again. If you got to the bottom of the this post you will see my lovely belly button :\
I am still going to UCONN next month! I am excited but very nervous of what will be said. IVF is very expensive and trying to get my husband there will be a task. There is so much paperwork it isn't even funny!! I am thankful one of my lovely friends has offered to go with me. I am throwing a baby shower for this friend this weekend and I have gone crazy and this baby shower is going to be AWESOME!!! One of these days I will have my own baby shower.
Now I must vent for a minute!
I am so sick of people that have never had difficulty getting pregnant, or don't have Endometriosis telling me they know how I feel. If you have never had a fertility problem you don't know how I feel. Yes, I know there are plenty of children that need a home in the world but with my husbands job we wouldn't be able to adopt right now. Adoption is also expensive and it's worth us trying to have our own children at this point. Another thing don't joke about my infertility because it is not funny. I would never wish this on anyone even my worst enemy. This is difficult and no one should tell me that it can't be that bad or hard to deal with! While most of you can make babies the "normal" way our baby or babies will be created by a lab tech in a petri dish.
Until next time....
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| 48 days Post-Op |
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| 3 days Post-Op |
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Week 1 of Lupron Done and Update
I have been busy the past week with being sick and 3 different doctor appointments for different things.
Today, is the first complete week of my Lupron shot. It has been a rollercoaster ride once again. I will say it isn't as bad as last year's experience so far. John and I are both hoping it stays that way. I have been very tired, and have headaches all day. All I can do is take one day at a time. My moods have been fluctuating but I don't feel like going completely insane thank goodness! We will have to wait and see what the next few weeks have in store for us.
I quit smoking :) I've been nicotine free for 2 weeks now. I am doing pretty well with that. I will say between quitting smoking, then immediately getting sick and getting the Lupron injection have impacted my moods and everything else. Being smoke free and trying to get healthier is just the beginning to a healthier me! Plus, if I want to IVF and have a safe pregnancy I knew I had to quit. Here is to a lifetime of being smoke free!!!!!
Totally unrelated to my Endometriosis but when I got sick after smoking I was told I had bronchitis. Well, after seeing an Allergy & Immunity doctor yesterday I do not have bronchitis. My lungs themselves are inflamed along with the rest of my respiratory track. They seem to think it is due to my asthma and allergies but aren't 100% sure at this time. I get to do a few different allergy test at the end of the month. I also get to take strong nasal sprays and inhalers right before the testing because I failed my breathing test. This isn't the first time that this has happened. I have had problems with allergies, asthma, and bronchitis for years and smoking has only caused it to get worse. I am now paying for all the times I thought the nicotine was relaxing and calming me. WRONG!!
I did go and speak to my PCM about my thyroid results. While my body is producing antibodies that are attacking my thyroid and other body tissues they can't do anything until the #'s go up to a certain level. I think this crazy but there isn't much I can do about it. I go back the week of February 17th to see if the levels are still going up, staying the same or dropping. Based off of those results we will determine if I need to see an Endocrinologist.
Today, I scheduled my first IVF Consult for February 19th at the University of Connecticut's Center for Advanced Reproductive Services!!!! I am so excited but at the same time nervous! My OBGYN is working on the consult letter and documentation to send to the Walter Reed NMMC IVF Program. I want to get as many options and consults as possible. IVF is very expensive and the military doesn't cover it at ALL!!! Once we get all of the consults we will have a lot of decisions to make, plans to try to work out and all that jazz.
I think this year will be a great year for John and I regardless of what may happen. There is no guarantee that IVF will work but we are going to try and that's all we can do. At the end of the day we are our own family and a baby doesn't make a family it only adds to it. It brings more love, commitment, joy, happiness, and awesomeness that was already formed. It would be so nice to be able to add to our family the precious gift of life and it WILL HAPPEN!!
Well ladies and gents that's all I have to say for now. Have a great day!
Until next time.........
Today, is the first complete week of my Lupron shot. It has been a rollercoaster ride once again. I will say it isn't as bad as last year's experience so far. John and I are both hoping it stays that way. I have been very tired, and have headaches all day. All I can do is take one day at a time. My moods have been fluctuating but I don't feel like going completely insane thank goodness! We will have to wait and see what the next few weeks have in store for us.
I quit smoking :) I've been nicotine free for 2 weeks now. I am doing pretty well with that. I will say between quitting smoking, then immediately getting sick and getting the Lupron injection have impacted my moods and everything else. Being smoke free and trying to get healthier is just the beginning to a healthier me! Plus, if I want to IVF and have a safe pregnancy I knew I had to quit. Here is to a lifetime of being smoke free!!!!!
 |
| This is how I have felt for the past week between the Lupron, quitting smoking, being sick, and people getting on my nerves! |
Totally unrelated to my Endometriosis but when I got sick after smoking I was told I had bronchitis. Well, after seeing an Allergy & Immunity doctor yesterday I do not have bronchitis. My lungs themselves are inflamed along with the rest of my respiratory track. They seem to think it is due to my asthma and allergies but aren't 100% sure at this time. I get to do a few different allergy test at the end of the month. I also get to take strong nasal sprays and inhalers right before the testing because I failed my breathing test. This isn't the first time that this has happened. I have had problems with allergies, asthma, and bronchitis for years and smoking has only caused it to get worse. I am now paying for all the times I thought the nicotine was relaxing and calming me. WRONG!!
I did go and speak to my PCM about my thyroid results. While my body is producing antibodies that are attacking my thyroid and other body tissues they can't do anything until the #'s go up to a certain level. I think this crazy but there isn't much I can do about it. I go back the week of February 17th to see if the levels are still going up, staying the same or dropping. Based off of those results we will determine if I need to see an Endocrinologist.
Today, I scheduled my first IVF Consult for February 19th at the University of Connecticut's Center for Advanced Reproductive Services!!!! I am so excited but at the same time nervous! My OBGYN is working on the consult letter and documentation to send to the Walter Reed NMMC IVF Program. I want to get as many options and consults as possible. IVF is very expensive and the military doesn't cover it at ALL!!! Once we get all of the consults we will have a lot of decisions to make, plans to try to work out and all that jazz.
I think this year will be a great year for John and I regardless of what may happen. There is no guarantee that IVF will work but we are going to try and that's all we can do. At the end of the day we are our own family and a baby doesn't make a family it only adds to it. It brings more love, commitment, joy, happiness, and awesomeness that was already formed. It would be so nice to be able to add to our family the precious gift of life and it WILL HAPPEN!!
Well ladies and gents that's all I have to say for now. Have a great day!
Until next time.........
Thursday, January 3, 2013
New Year, New Adventure, & Doctor's Appointment
2012 is now behind us, and we can start 2013 off with hope, commitment, and courage.
I have hope that this new year will bring answers, change, good health, and a healthy pregnancy! John and I committed to each other almost 3 1/2 years ago and got married June 3, 2012. We have committed to love each no matter what. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful husband that is willing to stand by me knowing I may never be able to give him a family. He loves me even though I can be mean and nasty towards him and others for no apparent reason. While my lack of hormones cause my outburst it is no excuse for my lack of self control. Hopefully this new year will be the beginning of better moods and a lack of outbursts :) It takes a lot of courage to go through all of this craziness. Especially, courage to tell the entire world about it. I hope and pray that someone reads this blog and it inspire, or bring hope to them. It is never easy feeling like you are alone with dealing with a problem.
Everyday seems to be a new journey or brings a new problem but I know that I am going to get through this. All of my health issues can't be fixed over night sadly. Some I will always have and they will affect my quality of life. I feel like a science experiment gone wrong! That is never a good feeling trust me.
Anyways, today I went to the OB. My period is 2 days late but I am obviously not pregnant. What a shocker! I was given my Lupron shot which was only a month dose instead of a 3 month dose and started my Norethindrone.
Norethindrone is a daily 2 mg hormone pill I take to stop my uterine lining from forming! YAY no periods! I go back in a few weeks unless I go crazy like last year. Oh and there is guarantee that the Lupron will help at this point but it is worth a try to save my sad little tube. I will start getting consults over the next few months at different fertility clinics. The numbness in my hand from the IV from surgery could take 18+ months to heal or I may have permanent nerve damage. It is just my right wrist and index finger so I'm not to worried about it right now. It is more annoying than anything. My OB said my PCM needs to start treating my thyroid issue now instead of waiting since it can cause other problems. I go Monday to talk to my PCM. I also go to an Allergy and Immune Doctor on Wednesday. It will be a busy busy week for me.
The next month will be a roller coaster ride. Hopefully, a good ride instead of a month from hell. I hope that this year will be the year and by this time next year John and I can have an addition to our little family!
If you have any input on Fertility Clinics or the different IVF procedures let me know :)
Until next time....
I have hope that this new year will bring answers, change, good health, and a healthy pregnancy! John and I committed to each other almost 3 1/2 years ago and got married June 3, 2012. We have committed to love each no matter what. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful husband that is willing to stand by me knowing I may never be able to give him a family. He loves me even though I can be mean and nasty towards him and others for no apparent reason. While my lack of hormones cause my outburst it is no excuse for my lack of self control. Hopefully this new year will be the beginning of better moods and a lack of outbursts :) It takes a lot of courage to go through all of this craziness. Especially, courage to tell the entire world about it. I hope and pray that someone reads this blog and it inspire, or bring hope to them. It is never easy feeling like you are alone with dealing with a problem.
Everyday seems to be a new journey or brings a new problem but I know that I am going to get through this. All of my health issues can't be fixed over night sadly. Some I will always have and they will affect my quality of life. I feel like a science experiment gone wrong! That is never a good feeling trust me.
Anyways, today I went to the OB. My period is 2 days late but I am obviously not pregnant. What a shocker! I was given my Lupron shot which was only a month dose instead of a 3 month dose and started my Norethindrone.
 |
| THIS IS WHAT THE SHOT FROM HELL LOOKS LIKE! |
Norethindrone is a daily 2 mg hormone pill I take to stop my uterine lining from forming! YAY no periods! I go back in a few weeks unless I go crazy like last year. Oh and there is guarantee that the Lupron will help at this point but it is worth a try to save my sad little tube. I will start getting consults over the next few months at different fertility clinics. The numbness in my hand from the IV from surgery could take 18+ months to heal or I may have permanent nerve damage. It is just my right wrist and index finger so I'm not to worried about it right now. It is more annoying than anything. My OB said my PCM needs to start treating my thyroid issue now instead of waiting since it can cause other problems. I go Monday to talk to my PCM. I also go to an Allergy and Immune Doctor on Wednesday. It will be a busy busy week for me.
The next month will be a roller coaster ride. Hopefully, a good ride instead of a month from hell. I hope that this year will be the year and by this time next year John and I can have an addition to our little family!
If you have any input on Fertility Clinics or the different IVF procedures let me know :)
Until next time....
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