Well I would first like to say that when you start a IVF cycle your so pumped and ready to go. You only think about the positives never the what ifs. When doing IVF you should really consider the positives and negatives so you don't get your hopes to high. IVF is not 100% but it can make dreams come true.
Yesterday morning at 7:50 I was inProvidence getting my blood work done. Waiting for the results was the hardest part of this whole process. At 2:10pm I saw the results online in my chart. I waited for the doctor to call to confirm. She called at 2:34pm. She confirmed that everything we hoped and prayed for wasn't so.
Our IVF cycle FAILED and I am NOT pregnant!! Talk about a stab right in the heart and uterus!! I was completely broken inside. John was at work so I texted him saying the doctor had called. About 30 minutes after she called he did. I told him and I could tell he was filled with disappointment like I was and still am.
It hasn't completely set in yet and probably won't until my period comes. That is now 3 days late go figure! The next few days and weeks is truly going to be hard on us. I'm in between the upset, disappointment and angry phases right now.
So what's next you ask? Well I simply wait for my period to come. During that time those 2 beautiful blastocyst our little ones will be flushed out of my body for forever! After my period ends we will check my hormone levels. If they are normal then we can start planning out next step which is a Frozen Embryo Transfer(FET). This is done a little different than a fresh cycle bit hopefully it will work. We can so this as soon as September. The chances of a IVF cycle working is really a case by case thing. This cycle we had a 60-70% chance of it working an sadly it didn't. For whatever reason neither blastocyst implant. Science doesn't have a complete understanding why this happens!!
Here is what we've learned through this process that gives us hope:
1. With the right medications I can be stimulated to produce multiple healthy eggs.
2. Nothing is wrong with John fertility wise which we already knew.
3. My eggs can be fertilized.
4. Our fertilized eggs can turn into beautiful Blastocysts.
5. We have one snow baby or frosty that we can use.
6. That snow baby has a 95% chance of surviving the thawing process.
7. The snow baby has a 50% chance of implanting.
8. WE DISNT DO ANYTHING WRONG TO CAUAE THIS NOT TO WORK! We did everything we were told to do and did it. If I had questions I would email the nurse.
Hope is not completely lost yet! We hopefully have one more try. This may be out last opportunity to try IVF considering its so darn expensive! However I don't think we will give up.
So for now if you could keep us in your thoughts and prayers that we make it through this difficult time we would appreciate it.
I'd like to thank our family and friends that have been there since the beginning!! Between swapping work days with John to some lovely ladies going to appointments with me we greatly appreciate all of your love and support!! I also know many reading this will not know what to say to myself or John and that is okay. Just be there.
Until next time......
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