Dr. Appointment 8/29

So today was a crazy day.  I went to the doctor's office twice and had to go to have more labs drawn.

Today, I went in for an ultrasound and to get the hCG shot.  The ultra sound was not the most fun thing in the world but I survived :)  My uterus is severely tilted in the wrong direction, I have a large follicle that may be too "ripe", have fluid around my ovary, and I have failed to ovulate again!!!  The follicle was in normal limits but was on the high side of the scale.  We decided to do labs to see if I naturally ovulated to see if I even needed the hCG shot.

The lab worked confirmed what I already knew since I have been doing ovulation test for days now.  I once again have not ovulated.  Needless to say I needed the hCG shot.  So, I went back to the doctor's office again and talked to the doctor, and got my shot.  Wow that shot did not hurt but dang it hurts now.  Hopefully, I will ovulate within 36-48 hours!!  That is the goal.  I have to get labs drawn Saturday to see if I ovulated or not.  In a few weeks we will obviously know if all are hard work has paid off or not. 

Overall the doctor is very happy with how things look!!  Even though the doctor is happy I feel like things are still not right.  I shouldn't have to go through all of this.  Between the Endometriosis, surgery, Lupron, menopause, infertility, fertility treatments, now a retarded uterus(which can cause miscarriage since it's tilted) haven't I suffered enough?!?!?  I know life isn't fair but oh my goodness this is horrible!  I know things will eventually be okay but I don't know how much more my body can take mentally, emotionally, and physically!! 

I hope this treatment works and everything works out for the best.  If this cycle of treatment doesn't work then we have to try something else. 

Thank you all for your support it is very much appreciated :)  Until next time....

Waiting and Not Knowing

Here I am babysitting 2 of the sweetest children I know.  A true little Princess and a ver Inspirational little boy that has a wonderful outlook on life.  These 2 kids touch my heart in so many ways.  All the kids I watch hold a special place in my heart at the end of the day.  Children are such a precious gift.  We are to teach them the things in life that they need to know.  However, kids teach us so much too.  It is amazing how much a child can show you when you least expect it.  Almost everyday I see a child that bring me joy just like I bring them joy as well.  These children are not mine in anyway but I treat them like they are.

I am learning that if all my fertility treatments, shots, etc, don't work that it will be okay.  Life will go on one way or another.  If my infertility is permanent I will be thankful I am not worse off like some.  Everyday brings a new thought, emotion, or physical pain.  Endometriosis has really changed my life.  I thought having a fatal skin disease(Steven-Johsnons Syndrome) was bad enough.  Yeah, I know if it is some odd ball illness it will happen to me.  I have always been the person to get odd stuff.  I guess being an science experiment was in the cards I was dealt.   In the past 3.5 years so much has changed and my life will continue to change.  I hope that is only for the better.

On, August 29th I will be doing a hCG shot with the assistance of an ultrasound.  The plan is that in 2 weeks 2 days after the injection I will take a sensitive blood pregnancy test.  To say I am happy, excited, and hopeful about the thought that we maybe parents one day is an understatement.  At the same time I am terrified, nervous, freaked out, stressed, and so many other things it isn't even funny.  I have been counting down the days until I get the shot.  The "What If's" are taking place in my mind.  If this doesn't work I am going to be devastated!!  I never expected to be told that I was infertile at 23, I'll need assistance to be pregnant, and that if it doesn't happen with in a year or 2 it may never happen thanks to my Endo.  When life throws me lemons , I try to make lemonade out of them but it can be hard to do sometimes.

Waiting around and not knowing what the future holds is the hardest thing.  I know I have to be patient but this is taking forever ;)  I have waited this long I might as well wait some more until it's my time.  That is so much easier said than done!!

My husband has been a great sport about this whole thing.  He has been supportive this whole time it's wonderful.  I don't give him enough credit at all.  So John, if your reading this know how much I love you and that your support is more than I can ask for!! <3 <3 <3 <3  You are the BEST!

Until next time my friends...

August 16th!

So after a lot of talking and thinking we decided that being put back on birth control isn't the best option.  Since my body doesn't ovulate that we should let it start working properly again.  Being on birth control can cause issues down the road.  On the 14th I went to my gynecologist to discuss our plan of action and where to go from there.  We had that all figured out.  On the 15th, I went to my PCM who is a little concerned about my TSH(thyroid hormone) was higher than normal at the end of July when the blood was drawn.  My Gyno did blood work on Tuesday and my TSH was very normal.   So it looks like my TSH is going crazy.  I go back in a month to retest it.  Blood work still shows I haven't ovulated still.  This is just so darn frustrating!!!!  I was also diagnosed with Hypoglycemia which I already knew I had.  So good news is my Acarbose the doctor put me on is keeping my blood sugar from dropping too low like it usually did. 

Last night after I got home from the doctor I started bleeding.  I HAVE MY FIRST PERIOD SINCE JANUARY 2011!!!!  YAY, finally!  I know most people wouldn't be happy but this shows my body is at least trying to function right :) :)  I still won't ovulate at this point.  However, with medications my body will eventually start working fully. Since I am having a period though it is causing my Endometriosis to bleed so I am having bad pain again.  I have to suck it up and let my body adjust to functioning again.

So many of my friends are either getting pregnant or having their babies.  It is so exciting but at the same time it hurts.   I am very happy for all of them it's just the thought of that may never happen for us.  It's harder watching women having abortions left and right when I want to have children but my body isn't doing what it needs to for that to happen.  I have a limited time frame to have a baby if that is what we want(which it is) since with every period my Endometriosis bleeds, grows and spreads. 

There is a lot going on and so much to do.  More testing, appointments, thinking positive, and praying to do.  It will get worse before getting better.  I have faith that one day it will all work itself out.. Hopefully, sooner rather than later!

I will create a new blog in relation to this one when it is time to share the journey of this horrible mess and hopefully one day pregnancy and motherhood!!

Until next time....PLEASE KEEP US IN YOUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS!!! <3

Dr. Appointment 6/8/12

So I went to the gyno  on August 1st to get an exam and do blood work.  He did a pregnancy text and also check to see if I had ovulated recently.   We talked about the Depo shot, Implanon, and how for me my biological clock is backwards.  If I wait to long to have a baby it probably won't happen.

Yesterday, August 8th I went back for the results.  I am not pregnant and I am NOT ovulating at all as of now.  So obviously as of now I can't have children.  That may or may not change. Also if I ever want to have a baby I will have take fertility meds and will be consider high risk for multiple reasons. My heart was completely crushed and still is.  I was told I have 2 options. One is to be put back on birth control to suppress my hormones even more and potentially never get pregnant. I haven't ovulated since January 2011 since I started birth control in February 2011, then surgery, then Lupron.  If I continue birth control it may permanently  mess my reproductive system up more than it is.  My second option is to start fertility meds to induce ovulation and try to get pregnant within a few months to a year from now.  I'd have to see a few specialist because I am at a higher risk of something going wrong.

There is obviously a lot of information to think about.  John and I have discussed everything and have our answer. Hopefully the doctor will be able to fix everything :)