On Wednesday I went and had my Hysterosalpinogram (HSG). This was used to see if my right tube was still obstructed, if it had opened or see if they could open it.
Things started like it normally would for an x-ray. I got onto the table and laid down. Then they start violating your lady parts. My doctor numbed my cervix and the Radiologist came in to take the x-rays. My doctor reminded me that there was a small chance that the Lupron had helped. He also said it would hurt like Hell if the tube was still closed and the dye had nowhere to go.
When we are all ready he started injecting the dye through the cervix and into the uterus. he looked at me and said its about to hurt really bad! Oh My Golly it hurt like HELL!!! My left tube is sewn shut from my previous surgeries and my right tube is still obstructed. There was a tiny portion of the tube that was open but it is right beside the uterus.
After the procedure was done and I was still in pain he started explaining things to me. He did mention that after he reviews the films we could possibly do surgery to open the tube. After the severe cramps started to get better I went home.
The next day I went to talk to my doctor. I went thinking that he could do surgery and help us. I was wrong on the surgery part, but he can help us.
I love my doctor and he decided after reviewing the films that he would not operate to fix my tube. He would have to do a major surgery to even attempt to fix it. He would have to remove the upper corner of the uterus as well and reattach it. This is very risky on many levels. When you start cutting your uterus in pieces your risking never to be able to have a baby even with IVF.
So no surgery and NO MORE LUPRON were decided to help improve my health. I will have a period in about 1-3 months and it will probably be heavy, more clotting, and very painful. So, if it turns out to be that way I will have Implanon implanted in my arm to help that. We will see if my body has decided to ovulate via ultrasound and blood work after a few cycles. The #1 thing that I have to do right now is get my thyroid under control!!!!
We also talked about how I feel and how things were going. He said he has obviously seen people in our position before and he opened up on what he thought about me. He explained to me what he saw. He said that I was thinking about right now and not my over all general and reproductive health! I realized he was right. It was hard to hear in some ways but I needed to hear it. I mean our sex life has been based off of a calendar of when I should ovulate even though I know I don't ovulate. It made me realize that I am making my husband suffer as well. It is not fair for me to do this to him or to myself. I have to think about what his needs are and my needs. I have to think about our future, getting myself health, and my reproductive health.
At the end of the day IVF and Adoption are our only option. It has caused us pain, heartache, and stress. However, we will do what is best for our family. We will one day have a beautiful family no matter how it happens.
Until next time......
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