Seeing Double

God has heard our prayers and have answered them!  We are having a baby.  To get the latest updates on everything going on visit our new site at My Woman Problems.  Thanks for the love and support!

Sara

NEW BLOG SITE

For those that follow our blog has moved to Word Press.  Please go to saraeratliff.wordpress.com to stay up to date.  There is an update already posted from earlier today.

Thanks for the support,
Sara

Hope and Faith RESTORED

The last week and a half is a time I will never and I mean NEVER FORGET!  My Navy RE ordered a HSG for me to confirm the tubal blockage.  Last month I was supposed to get it done but I ended up with a bad sinus infection and had to cancel  I am highly allergic to the dye used during the test.

Anyways. I started praying 2 weeks ago that my period would start early by the 22nd so I could schedule the test in a timely manner I knew someone could take me.  Well, needless to say my prayers were answered on the 22nd and my period was there.  I called and scheduled my appointment.  Then I prayed that I would hear something from my husband by the end of the work week.  Sure enough on the 24th I woke up to a email from him.  I know what some of you may be thinking but when you haven't heard from your husband at all in 6.5 weeks an email is like Christmas Day. 

Back track for a moment.... On June 4th of this year the Navy RE did the wrong test saying it would show if my tube was open.  She said it wasn't open and that we needed IVF all over again.  Our hearts were crushed yet again.  Come to find out she didn't do the right test so I demanded the HSG to be done.  After some fight it was ordered.

Back on track now...  I've been praying since I scheduled my HSG that God would show His will and His plan by the results.  I prayed that no matter what I wouldn't be angry with God or anyone else.  I kept telling myself along with John that we can get through this no matter what happened today.  Why couldn't we get through this?  We have already been through so much already so this wasn't going to be any different but maybe just a little harder.  Well today came.

 My test was delayed because that lovely Navy RE put in my chart not to do the HSG and then days later ordered one.  Due to my allergy they could not move forward even with me doing my protocol medications until the Radiologist spoke to the RE.  After an hour and a half of waiting the RE didn't give a forward answer.  So I signed a waiver stating I knew the risk and blah blah blah.  I know the risk obviously and we needed to know what this test would show so we did it.

Well, hello there mean looking torture table.

 I will be placing my 4/10/13 and today's HSG photos together for comparison.  I labeled the photos so you know what you're looking at.  Don't worry they are x-ray photos so no photos of the business end.

 

  

That's right my RIGHT TUBE IS 100% OPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Due to the position I was in you can't see the middle of the left tube but it is also open to the sewn portion.  Remember I don't have a left ovary so that is no biggie at all.  Now with this we may require some medications to help us.  My periods have become very irregular, I have poor ovulation, my Progesterone levels don't stay high enough to get/stay pregnant, my egg shells are very thick so they may not be able to be fertilized and or hatch to implant, my thyroid antibodies are still high which a civilian RE started me on medications for, my insulin levels are elevated, and John needs some more test.  We still have stuff to work on but this is such a BLESSING.  

I was able to talk to John today and we are both shocked and so thankful.  God has blessed us yet again.  Our Hope and Faith have been restored and I think God is going to bless us with a baby in His time.  We can only hope and pray that is soon but if not that is okay.  

***For those that participated in our recent 31 Party or donated to our fertility fund thank you.  With this new news the money will go to the out of pocket cost for the medications and other expenses that we have to pay for from doctor appointments to labs.  My new doctor doesn't take Tricare and many REs around don't sadly.  

For those reading this that are also suffering by the disease of Infertility or any other trail  PLEASE DO NOT GIVE UP!  Miracles happen every day and today may just be your day. 

With love from Sara and John

Thank you for reading and until next time.............. "May the odds be ever in our favor!"

Back At Square ONE!

Sorry it has been a while since my last post.  A lot has been going on since then fertility and non fertility related.  So hold on tight because it's a joyous, heartbreaking, and bumpy post ahead........

First, John and I FINALLY moved from CT back to VA!  Praise The Lord.. No seriously it is a blessing to be out of there and back to familiar southern land.  We were sad to leave our friends and pretty scenery and that's about it. 

Second, John's job sent a way.  I can't wait to hug and kiss him especially after everything that has happened since he left. 

On June 3rd it was our two year wedding anniversary :)

Us right after we said " I DO" on 6/3/12

Anyways.... Who really thinks when they grow up they will actually have a problem doing something so natural like getting pregnant?  We didn't that's for sure.  I figured a nice dinner, some wine, have some romantic candles and music, jump into bed, and BAM two weeks later a positive pregnancy test.

Well as y'all know that isn't what happened, still hasn't happened and after a new test may never happen for us.  Yeah, yeah I know don't be so negative but I have to face reality. 

One thing that we have found out is that I am not the only one that has some issues.  John has a significant amount of round cells in his semen.  What's round cells you ask?  They are just that round cells.  They can be WBCs or immature sperm.  This is from prostate inflammation.  This alone can cause fertility problems even if I was "normal"  We do not know what has caused it but we do know it isn't an STD or STI.  He was given antibiotics to see if that helps reduce the inflammation.  He has to go under more testing when he is able to and that will also tell us if the medication helped.

Now for the stab to the heart and uterus............
I went to see a new RE on Wednesday, June 4th.  I spoke to an OBGYN, a resident and then the RE.  She said she wanted to re check the patency of my right tube that was opened in December.  Remember we tried January, and February without success.  She could do a Saline Sonogram right then and there or I'd have to wait to for an HSG.  Since I'm allergic to the HSG dye I decided to just do the ultrasound.  Now I can do the HSG but after a day and a half protocol of Benadryl and Prednisone.  So I had to POAS so they could verify I wasn't pregnant.  I wasn't obviously.  I went to another room and did the normal routine for me.  Undress from the waist down.  Lay on the table.  Put my butt at the end of the table.  Drape the sheet over me.  Prop my feet into the stirrups and patiently wait to get started.  Well this day I had about 10 residents in the room, 2 nurses, 1 OBGYN and 1 RE.... Talk about an awkward party!  I was asked prior if the residents could attend.  At this point in our journey I could careless if there was 50 medical staff in there.  I just wanted to know what was going on.  After everyone took turns looking under the sheet we started with the prep.  They inserted a nice long catheter with a balloon into my uterus.  Placement was verified via transvaginal ultrasound.  Once in place and everyone once again looked at my lady parts to see what was happening we moved on.  They began to inject the saline into the catheter.  They were pushing so hard and fast the fluid couldn't go through fast enough so saline was gushing out of the syringe end into the floor and everywhere.  Holy cow my uterus felt like it was exploding and or I was going to have sporadic diarrhea.  Don't worry neither happened it was just from the pressure.  So I immediately was drawn back tot he pain of my HSG when the tube was blocked.  This was the exact same pain as then.  The same look of sadness across each of the medical staffs team.  I knew what they were going to say......Instead of saying what I thought they said we are going to give it a few minutes.  They were still pushing more syringes of fluid into my uterus so the pain was still occurring.  Finally after 8 minutes which felt like a lifetime they removed the ultrasound wand and the catheter.  They all looked at each other and then at me.  My heart sank and finally the RE said, "Sara, I am very sorry but your right tube is closed again.  I know this isn't what you wanted to hear.  There is also nothing we can do.  Your body is obviously blocking that tube for a reason and we can not do another surgery on it.  Your tube is either diseased or damaged or both.  Another surgery will cause more harm than good at this point.  Your options are to do IVF again, adopt or learn to live childless." 

Holy mother of batman people!!!  You've got to be kidding me!!!!! What a damn nightmare!  

So what are we going to do now.... Besides trying to have an HSG done to verify the findings of the ultrasound your guess is as good as ours.  With John away he can't be retested and we really can't discuss what we want or are going to do.  I do know one thing though if we do IVF again I am going to really want to use a surrogate.  We can't really afford that right now or adoption but I want our baby to have a wonderful environment to grow in for 8.5 months not a warzone like mine.  Come onI can't just walk up to a woman and say hey want to carry my baby for me or hey do you want that baby your pregnant with?  Well I could but that may be awkward! My TSH is also to high for fertility purposes and they still won't treat that...SHOCKER!  I am currently looking into IVF clinics, Surrogacy, Adoption, and Foster Care.  Living childless is just not an option to us.  We are to damn deserving to not give a child rather it's our own flesh and blood or not a good, stable, caring and loving home. My heart has been officially ripped out stomped on and halfway back in my chest.  I think it really is coming to light that we may never have biological children.  It's one of those nightmares that just won't stop which is very discouraging.  

God has some sort of plan but I just don't understand it at ALL!  I know He will provide in many ways and His will, will be done but sometimes it's hard to see that.  I just need to keep having hope and faith!

 Until next time........................

If your going to pray for us please  pray for John.  He wants to be here with me so bad but duty to this country comes first.  I wish he was here so we can support one another throw this.

IF YOU ARE A PARENT OR ARE PREGNANT PLEASE KNOW THAT YOU HAVE BEEN TRULY BLESSED AND NEVER TAKE THAT FOR GRANTED. 

IF YOUR STUGGLING LIKE IS KEEP THE HOPE AND FAITH!  KEEP PUSHING ON AND DO EVERYTHING IN YOUR POWER TO MAKE YOUR DREAM A REALITY!!

Ovulation, Results, & Waiting

When you have been constantly trying to conceive sometimes you will start doing things to improve your chances that some think is odd or gross.  If that's opinion that is fine but we well I have decided a few months ago I would start taking detail notes on my cycles and observe everything that can help us determine when I am fertile.  So yes I am that crazy lady that takes her Basal Body Temperature every morning, checks her cervix position, cervical opening, her cervical fluid, and takes Ovulation Prediction Test religiously.   I know that may be TMI but hey I am just being honest.  It's not like I haven't made it very clear that there is a lot of talk on my blog about my vagina, uterus, cervix, semen, sperm, sex and general TTC stuff.  Anyways, with that said lets move on with some updates and what is going on now.

John had another Semen Analysis or SA done on the 5th.  I'm sure it was awkward for him to be in a hospital doing this business or as some call it "Making Love To A Cup".  It was awkward for me to sit and wait in the waiting room having the medical staff make awkward looks in my direction.  We got the results on the 11th.  He is definitely does not have a fertility problem.  He got above average levels in everything except morphology.  He had 3% overall and they just changed the "grading system" to 4% or higher for good quality.  However, he had plenty of swimmers that looked normal, had excellent forward progression, and 59% of the sample survived long enough to be able to make it to the uterus.  So, even though he only had 3% morphology he is considered very fertile :D :D :D :D

So since I have been charting my cycles in detail I knew something was off on CD 9/10.  My period ended on CD 7 (2/3).  On dc 9 (2/5) I started taking OPKs.  The test lines were almost as dark as the control line.  If you don't know when you use an OPK it is negative if the test line isn't as dark or darker than the control line.  Also most peoples test lines will go from faint to gradually getting darker until they get a positive.  I took a test a few hours later and the test line was even darker but not quite there.  Since this has never happened to me before this early in my cycle we did the deed. The following day CD 10 (2/6) even darker almost there.  On CD 11 (2/7) the line was more faint than before and my BBT (Basal Body Temp) had dipped a little.  Cd 12 (2/8) my BBT shoot up some and I was curious what was going on.  Cd 13 my suspension was sort of confirmed by my Fertility Friend App.  It started that I ovulated already.  I was a little confused since last cycle I ovulated around CD 17-19.  I called my REs nurse Monday morning which was CD 14.  She said I needed a Progesterone test done.  So I went in and had my labs drawn.  Tuesday CD 15 (2/11) I got the results.  My Progesterone was 7.69 and I most definitely had already ovulated.  So my temp and app were correct.  I immediately started taking my Endometrin vaginal Progesterone suppositories.  Today I am on CD 18 or 7dpo.  There are a few reasons why this could of happened but that would require more labs and ultrasounds.  We will pursue that if needed after the results of my pregnancy test this month.  I go in 10 days (2/24 aka CD 28) from a blood pregnancy test.  With the possibilities of why I ovulated much earlier I am to call immediately if I start bleeding before my test.  Now we just wait to see what God has store for us.  We are hoping and praying that this is our cycle.  It has been a very long 20 months and we are still going strong (even with my moments of sadness, and feeling hopelessness).

Below is a copy of my cycle chart from this cycle.  Once I entered my BBT for cd13 (2/9) the chart predicted that I had ovulated and started the count up from there.  It can get confusing but is very useful.  It is amazing what your body can tell you if you actually listen to it!  Without charting we would of missed this entire cycle and that would of been very upsetting. 

 

In other news we are moving at the end of this month!!  We are finally moving out of the cold, snowy Northeast and back to the South :D :D  Yes, it has been snowing down there as well but not like it has been here.  My RE here is going to follow me from Massachusetts until I am able to get into an RE in VA.  This way I can get all the appropriate medications and test done monthly until then.  We are so thankful that she is willing to do that for us from a far. 

With all of this said please continue to pray, send good vibes or whatever it is that you do for the two of us.  It really is appreciated.  Also, prayers for a safe and smooth move would be great. 

If you are dealing with nasty weather stay warm and safe! 

Until next time......





Post-Op & Update

POST-OP
My follow post op appointment on 1/15 went really well. My incisions look great. She was pleased that I haven't any non surgical related pain so far during this cycle.

December/January cycle

I started testing with OPKs and finally got a positive Lh surge on 1/8 which was cycle day 16.  It looks like I actually caught it near the end of the surge.  Since I had a positive OPK it meant the within the next 24-36 hours I would hopefully ovulate. So it was time to get down to business...... No pressure right??  WRONG!  This is our first time trying to conceive on our own without any kind of help. This is BIG!  I felt a little silly having to ask my doctors nurse which we needed to do our thing. Hey we didn't want to miss the fertile window after all. So many questions surfaced after my fertile window was over. Was I actually having ovulation cramps?  Did I ovulate?  If I did what were our chances?  When could we test?  How will we react to a BFP?  How will we cope of this cycle fails?  What could we do? 

Yes, I was having ovulation pain on 1/8 and 1/9. Yes, my lab work at my post op appointment showed I actually ovulated for one....so exciting!!!  My progesterone was at 9.70 and my RE wants it at 10 so I started pro getting vaginal suppositories.  Research says that for a healthy female that's not medicated during a cycle has a 20% chance a month of conceiving.  Since I just had a lap, tube opened, and flushed out my RE have this cycle a 25% chance. Yes, that's higher than average but my reproductive organs were freshly "cleaned" which can increase the odds for the first month for some people.  I started testing on 10dpo (days post ovulation).  We did a progesterone blood test on 1/15.  It showed my progesterone was a lower than what it should be.  With that said it was low enough to where a fertilized egg more than likely wouldn't of implanted the week before.  BUMMER! 

What's Next?
We met with my RE on 1/28 to discuss our plans.  John had to undergo some more testing to make sure he is still good to go.  We don't have the results yet.  We should have them sometime this week.  I have started testing for my lh surge. Once I get a positive ovulation test I will start progesterone suppositories 2-3 days after to make sure my lining is suitable for a baby(ies).  Hopefully, in the next few days I will have my positive test and we can get the ball rolling. 

We are actually moving at the end of the month so it will make seeing an RE impossible for a few weeks.  My RE that I have here wants to monitor me from afar until I get a new doctor.  Packing, moving, trying to conceive, and all sorts of other things are going on but we can conquer it all!

Until next time....


 

Day 4 Post-OP

Today is day 3 since I had surgery.  I have to say I feel pretty good considering.  The past few days have been long, painful, tiring, and nauseating.  However, this is worth it since my tube is open.

My medical team at the hospital called Tuesday to see how I was doing.  Then yesterday my RE called. She wanted to check on how I was feeling, ask about my pain and bleeding.  She still wants us to give this cycle a try as long as my spotting stops before the BIG "O"......Ovulation ;).  She said she is very happy with the results and is amazed we got it opened since two prior procedures failed too.  Those procedures were with another  doctor who didn't have all the fancy catheters, dilators and wires she had.  She said the adhesion's were on the ends I my tubes and they were connected to my pelvic wall.  This is one reason I had so much pain.  My Fallopian tube was been pulled toward my right side.  Ouch!  She also states that she was able to get the tube 100% open and not partially. This is HUGE!  This means there is one less thing in the way that can cause an ectopic pregnancy :) :).  I go on the 15th for a post-op appointment. 

My incisions look pretty intense this time. My poor belly button has taken a beating.  It's been cut open 4 times in he last 5 years.  I have a lot of scar tissue so healing takes time. I also formed blisters near my left side incision that I accidentally popped.  We think those are due to the sensitivity I have to bandage adhesive. 

Belly Button.

Left side.  Those 2 scabs are where the blisters were that I didn't see until after they popped.

Day 3 Post-Op from my Laparoscopy in 2012.

Yesterday, my right side started hurting and I couldn't figure out why.  Obviously I had abdominal surgery but there was no new incisions near the pain location.  This morning I figured it out.  I guess some equipment was laid on my side and it caused a nice yellow bruise.  My abdominal incisions themselves don't hurt but the bruises do.  My back is also starting to hurt.  I have been taking it easy still but I have started moving around more and also doing little things around the apartment.  I haven't needed to take any pain medication since last night so that's a plus.  I am still waking up almost every hour and tossing and turning.  

Since my spotting has slowed down now to where it is almost nonexistent I have been taking ovulation test to give us a better time frame to try this cycle.  Granted I may not ovulate even with a positive ovulate test its worth a shot.  

It's time for lunch and a nap.  

Until next time.......